Using humorous and touching illustrations from his own life, as well as case histories and biblical examples, Gary Smalley maps a blueprint to a better marriage that will have a deep and lasting impact on men and their wives. The store will not work correctly in the case when cookies are disabled. Audiobook Download. Web icon An illustration of a computer application window Wayback Machine Texts icon An illustration of an open book.
Books Video icon An illustration of two cells of a film strip. Video Audio icon An illustration of an audio speaker. Audio Software icon An illustration of a 3. Software Images icon An illustration of two photographs. He is the author and coauthor of 16 best-selling, award-winning books along with several popular films and videos. He has spent over 30 years learning, teaching, and counseling.
Gary has personally interviewed hundreds of singles and couples and has surveyed thousands of people at his seminars, asking two questions: what is it that strengthens your relationships and what weakens them? Many of them have even been translated into various languages. All other titles have been top-five finalists for the Gold Medallion Award.
In the last 30 years, Gary has spoken to over 2 million people in live conferences. This videotape series has sold over 4 million tapes. Gary has been featured on hundreds of regional and local television and radio programs across the United States. Couples trying to live by complementarian rules often develop deep-seated contempt over many years. We see a potent illustration of that exact problem on page In the story, he and Norma drove to a company party.
The joke would have significantly embarrassed Smalley. He tried to talk her out of doing it. But Norma had found a button she could push. He screamed at her that he would now refuse to attend the party. Norma, shocked by his screaming, burst into tears. His apologies only backfired. He dun goofed. On page 95, we find ourselves standing at about He stands at the very peak of his career. At home, his children are now grown.
Greg is now some kind of relationship researcher or counselor himself. During a visit home, Greg encountered a domestic scene that had played out countless times before. This time, however, Greg felt unwilling to allow this scene to unfold yet again. Greg talked to his dad privately in the front yard. In , after almost 40 years of marriage and almost that long in his career as a Wife Whisperer, Gary Smalley got completely offended at the idea of letting Jesus take the wheel.
He told his dad to stop making Norma feel unsafe around him. This book is filled to the brim with examples of how complementarianism led to a terrible marriage for Norma and their children, all while Gary Smalley was preening and lecturing people about How to Marriage the Jesus Way.
I could tell you about page , where Smalley says he dumped the checkbook-balancing tasks on his wife in their early years, but then spent money out of their account without checking with her or looking at their balance. She made sandwiches for herself and the three kids, but nothing for him—because he criticized her sandwiches so vociferously and constantly that it was easier just not to do it and get in trouble for that than to endure his sniping yet again over how she fixed his food.
Or I could show you how he degraded his children at dinnertime, described on page , when they did stuff that annoyed him. I can ask her just what she needs, how much she needs, and when she needs it. Instead, we read pages and pages of times when complementarian advice failed for this couple. At the end of the book p. The tactic worked stunningly, at the expense of their harmony.
And remember, all his life this guy made his living advising couples about How to Marriage the Jesus Way. It blows my mind that Gary Smalley wrote this book decades ago, and yet almost nothing changed in his marriage for decades. This man was a charlatan—a false teacher through and through. He taught principles that had not created a happy, harmonious marriage for himself—and indeed could not —yet he told his adherents that his teachings would do that for them.
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